I went to life-drawing on the 5th March 2024.

On the 18th March 2024 I was rushed to the emergencies in the back of an ambulance.

Then it all went blank...

No energy.
No desire.

I am alive.

…

30 weeks later.

Back to life-drawing.

The 30th September 2024, I opened a box containing red pastel dust over my jeans and sweatshirt.

The red streak down my leg immediately moved me to take a photo. 

The poses, short or long merged together on the pages. There seemed little care for separation. There seemed little respect for anatomy. What counted, it appeared, was the energy, the freedom, the lack…of judgement.


I stopped, energy momentarily exhausted. 

I wasn’t sure what had happened. 
I wasn’t sure that I recognised myself. 

I wasn’t sure if I had changed. 

Is this how I had been?

Is this how it had been? 

Is this how I am? 
Is this how I will be? 
Is this how it will be? 

I don’t know. 

I don’t think it matters. 

This is life drawing…